“You're still a virgin? You must do it now.”
“Everyone else has gone all the way.”
“If you don't let him do it, he will dump you.”
Have you ever been pressured this way? What would you do? Yes or no?
Hello, I am Ticha Kanticha Chumma.
TICHA KANTICHA
Model/Actress/Youtuber
In this episode of CI Talks, we're going to talk about when are we ready to have sex.
When Is The Right Time For Sex
Many people may know that if we are to have sex, we should do it at the right time. But when?
There is no benchmark for when it should be. First, when you are legally ready. As stated in the law, and I'll make no mistake because I'll read through it.
%&)*#$L@%&)*#$L@
I didn't say it, the law said it.
I can go more slowly. Okay, let's try.
In conclusion, very simply, the law is here to protect minors.
My suggestion is if I were you, and it's up to you ...
- First, if I were 18, I wouldn't have sex with anyone under 18. So, you're safe.
- Second, if you're still under 18, you can wait, just to be sure.
- Third, when your body is ready. This one's hard because we're all different. Earlier for some, later for others. But in the end, no one can tell 100% how long puberty is going to take or when you'll be ready to have sex.
- Fourth and lastly, when you feel ready. Feelings do matter. When we're are in a romantic relationship, does that mean we're ready? Does love mean you're ready? Not always. Feelings matter when it comes to deciding if you're ready.
For example, me. If I meet someone I like, "Ooh! that one I like."
- First, how old are you? 17? Sorry, boy. Bye. How old are you? 30? Okay, ready. One box checked.
- The second box. Body. Checked! Mine? Ready. Okay, now the last question: Am I ready? Even if he's got a hot body and is the right age, if I still, say, miss my ex. Am I ready?
If you still can't decide whether you're ready for sex, I have a checklist with 5 ways that can help you know if you're ready for first time sex.
Right Time, Right Place, Right Person
The first check is to ask yourself if it is the right time, the right place, and with the right person. This means, even if you love each other and want to have sex together, but you do it in the wrong place, that's wrong.
For example, a long time ago when I was at school overseas, a student couple had sex in a toilet cubicle and broke the toilet. This example might be a bit too extreme, but you get what I mean, right?
We may feel very attracted to each other but we have to do it in an appropriate place. If I'm with my boyfriend and we're feeling horny, but we're with 10 friends, so that's not the right time. We have to be sure everything is appropriate.
Don't Be Pressured into Having Sex
Our next check is to be sure that we don't have sex because we feel pressured or just to impress someone.
A friend of mine liked a guy so much but she thought that the only way to get hime to like her back was to have sex with him. That meant she wasn't really ready.
Another friend felt bad because she was a virgin while everyone around her had already had sex (or atleast said they had). She felt like the odd one out and under (peer) pressure to get the deed done.
Don't have sex when you feel pressured. This is a no-no. It means you're not ready.
Was Once Enough?
The next check is to ask yourself if you're going to have sex just because you've had sex with them before.
Just because you've had sex with them before doesn't mean you have to keep on doing it. In fact, it’s the other way around.
Don't feel pressured just because you've already had sex with someone. You don't have to keep on having sex with them.
It's our body. It's our decision. You can say NO, and you can say thank you, NEXT PLEASE.
What Protection Will You Use?
The next check. What are your plans for birth control and STD prevention?
Before you have sex, ask yourself if you know how to protect yourself. Protecting yourself is about loving and respecting yourself.
If someone say they want to have sex with you but they don't have any protection plan or don't want to use any protection. You can say "If you love me and respect me, and respect yourself, we should use protection." And if he truly respects you, he will agree to it and he will be okay.
Intending to protect yourself before sex is a good way to show that you're ready.
Check and Double Check
My final check is for you to double check!
Truly, no matter how long my checklist is there is no guarantee that it means you're ready or not. Whether you're ready or not depends on you.
You can rethink your decision again, go through the checklist again. Even if you go half way and change your mind, it means you're not ready. You can say no. So double-checking is also important.
Sex Readiness Checklist
Talking about sex education here today isn't about showing the villain the way, or suggesting that you have sex now. It's just like me giving you a raincoat in case it rains and it may not rain today. But when it does, you have a raincoat to use.
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