In her "How to Build Self Confidence" Video Talk on CI Talks, Natalie Glebova gives you tips on designing the ideal version of who you are, and then taking steps each day to move to become that person. The secret to doing this is all about self love as this is what fuels self confidence, the most important life skill. Be inspired to take action with Natalie Glebova's personal growth tips.
Lack of self confidence seems to be a growing problem in today's world, I think especially due to the expansion of social media and everyone using social media on a daily basis. In fact, how often do we see people just holding their phone and just scrolling and looking at all the news feeds and comparing themselves to others.
SELF CONFIDENCE - YOUR MOST IMPORTANT LIFE SKILL
Also, I think women, we're much more focused on outer appearance. We place so much value on looking good, always looking perfect, having the right makeup and hair and outfits, and when you focus too much on your outer appearance, and you forget to work on your inner qualities.
That's when self confidence starts to suffer because we can never be perfect on the outer and that's why we are always chasing that perfection and looking good. But we forget to focus on all those qualities that add value to you as a human being; as an amazing human being.
Hi, I'm Natalie Glebova, author, self love coach and former Miss Universe.
AUTHOR / SELF-LOVE COACH / MISS UNIVERSE 2005
Today, on CI Talks, we are going to be talking about how you can build your self confidence. Because, trust me, the most important part of your personal development journey, and becoming the best version of yourself, relates to confidence.
I define confidence simply as self-love. When you truly and completely love yourself, confidence will happen automatically and the 3 pillars of self love are Self Awareness, Self Care, and Self Development.
The first pillar, self awareness, is all about getting to know yourself on every level. It's analyzing yourself, introspecting, asking yourself questions about who you are, what you want and the kind of person you want to become. When you know yourself better, you love yourself.
The second pillar of self love is Self Care. That is all about caring about yourself on a physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental level. When you give the love to your body by eating well and exercising, when you set your emotional boundaries with people around you, when you spend time alone and when you do things that bring you joy and passion. That's real self-care.
And the third pillar of self love is self development. Self Development is about taking constant and consistent daily action, towards becoming the better version of yourself. Designing the ideal version of who you are, and then taking daily steps to move to become that person.
Without that work, you can never grow, you can never evolve. So with these 3 pillars, you can definitely have that self love which will turn into confidence.
BUILDING THE BEST LIFE POSSIBLE EVERY SINGLE DAY
As a child, I was very confident thanks to my parents, who always made me participate in sports, and different activities. So I definitely developed that from a young age. But, everything changed when I came to Canada, from Russia as an immigrant and it might be difficult for many people to imagine that someone who won Miss Universe suffered from low self confidence, but that is exactly what happened to me.
I completely lost all of my confidence, when I came, at 13 years old, from one country to another, not speaking the language, not feeling like I was enough or that I was as good as the Canadian people and I just felt like I was a stranger and I didn't belong anywhere. So that's why it took me a long time and a lot of self work to really build up that self confidence again, from the ground up.
When I was a kid, I remember when I was 13 years old and being in the awkward teenage years, I didn't like what I saw in the mirror. I looked at myself in the mirror and I wanted to cry. I had crooked teeth, and I needed to have braces. I had poor vision so I got prescribed glasses. I had pimples and frizzy hair, and overall I just looked like a mess and I felt like a mess on the inside.
So definitely, I had low self worth, low self esteem, and I felt like I was not deserving of the best life possible. That's when I knew that I needed to work on myself. I knew that I needed to change my own opinion about myself and rewrite my story and it took several years and a lot of it had to do with journaling, introspecting, asking myself difficult questions, working on my skills, taking action to become my better self.
But in time, I grew into the woman that I am today and I keep on improving every single day. It's a journey right.
MY JOURNEY TO MISS UNIVERSE 2005
So I competed for the first time in Miss Universe Canada 2004 pageant but, sadly, I didn't win. But that didn't stop me, because I knew, I still had that vision, I still had that amazing picture in my mind that one day I'll tell my grandchildren that I competed at Miss Universe and I started again.
I took my journal out once more, I started to prepare and put check marks on my daily goals and when I competed the second time around at Miss Universe Canada 2005, I became the winner and it was really an amazing moment in my life because not only did I achieve my goal of winning the national pageant but I also got a chance to go to Miss Universe in Thailand. So when I competed for the title of Miss Universe in Thailand, I won and it was the most incredible moment in my life.
I'd like you to stop doubting and judging yourself and stop listening to every single negative thought that comes into your mind about yourself. Believe in your ability. Trust in your ability and know that you can be confident and wonderful as you are. Not only is this going to improve the quality of your life and make you a happier person but you're going to send out this positive energy that's going to create this wonderful aura around you that will make you the most beautiful person to everyone you meet.
5 KEY TAKEAWAYS
TO BUILD YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE
Number 1. Start a Journal.
Every successful person and every winner that I know has a journal. They always write things down; their dreams, their ideas. So if you write down, the more you write down, the more you're going to get to know yourself which is the first pillar of self love, self awareness.
LIST 6 EMPOWERING BELIEFS ABOUT YOURSELF
Number 2. Create a list of 5 or 6 empowering affirmations. You can actually use your journal for this one and list down all of the items that you believe your ideal self to be. Sort of design this ideal person in your mind and make a short description, in 5 or 6 sentences, who that person is.
Then you take that list, and maybe design it in a beautiful way, or draw it, or make it a beautiful picture, and then put it all over the house. Put it on your bathroom mirror, in your living room, on your fridge, next to your bed, so that you can see it every single day and start moving towards becoming that person.
TAKE 3 ACTIONS EVERY MORNING
BEFORE PICKING UP YOUR PHONE
Number 3. Take 3 actions in the morning, before you pick up the phone. Now its important that these actions need to be very simple and yet empowering. You need to do something that moves you towards your goals and towards becoming that best version of yourself.
So what I do, when I first wake up in the morning, before I give my energy and attention to other people through my phone, I do things like read a few pages or a few chapters of my book, of any book that I'm reading right now, I do some meditation and breathwork, and I listen to my empowering affirmations, to really make that into my subconscious mind and rewrite my story.
Now these things, they need to be something empowering to you and your goals, the kind of person you dream and wish of becoming. You need to start taking those action steps, every single day, consistently.
REWRITE YOUR STORY
Number 4. Rewrite the story that you have about yourself in your own mind. If the story that plays in your mind is very negative and disempowering, you'll always have negative things to think about yourself and you will not be confident.
So instead, you need to sit down with your journal, or with your recorder, and start speaking about yourself and everything that happened to you from a positive perspective.
Change the angle and even if you had some difficulties and challenges in your life, start writing about it as if you were the hero of your own story.
DRESS FOR SUCCESS
And number 5. Dress up for success. I make it a point when I wake up in the morning and I do my 3 actions, to dress myself up and look good on the outside. Because, if you spend the whole day lounging around in your pyjamas or tracksuit or sweat suit, then you're going to feel lethargic and not confident about yourself and you're just not going to feel that you're that go-getter winner.
But when you dress up and you take the time to do your makeup and your hair, just a little bit, and you feel good because you look good.
5 KEY TAKEAWAYS
TO BUILD YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
1. START A JOURNAL
2. CREATE A LIST OF 6 EMPOWERING BELIEFS ABOUT YOURSELF
3. TAKE 3 ACTIONS EVERY MORNING BEFORE YOU PICK UP YOUR PHONE
4. RE-WRITE YOUR STORY ABOUT YOURSELF
5. DRESS UP FOR SUCCESS
The difference between confident and not confident people is simply thinking and wishing how you could be better and actually doing something about it. That's why I keep talking about taking consistent and daily action on your goals and becoming the best version of yourself every single day because only through that action will you start developing that confidence.
You can't just sit there and think and wish and hope and pray that one day you're going to be more confident or better at something. You actually need to take those steps and when you do that you'll notice every day your confidence is going to keep growing. So one day you'll look back at your old self and say "Wow, I have really come a long way. Now I'm confident".
This is CI Talks.